o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
