I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
