HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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