I accidentally had phone sex last night
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Operation Purity has been aborted
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
