Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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