I just made out with a guy for $7.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
someone owes me an orgasm
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
