I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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