Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
