would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
