With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
