you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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