So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
