yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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