why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
