we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
