he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
