Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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