Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
