The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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