why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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