I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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