I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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