apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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