Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
