I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
