I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
