There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
