Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.