the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.