I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.