Texts From Last Night

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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?

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  (319): Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's? http://tfl.nu/rb01
  Replies (18) Good night (929) Bad night (5134)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,

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  (973): I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry, http://tfl.nu/9gek
  Replies (28) Good night (6174) Bad night (820)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Darwin at his finest.

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  (571): You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg. (202): Darwin at his finest. http://tfl.nu/rqsd
  Replies (25) Good night (5873) Bad night (1218)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.

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  (617): it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina. http://tfl.nu/7xv1
  Replies (14) Good night (1260) Bad night (4346)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.

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  (305): We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail. http://tfl.nu/cojn
  Replies (9) Good night (3080) Bad night (804)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag

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  (785): I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag http://tfl.nu/283w
  Replies (7) Good night (2623) Bad night (757)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes

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  (203): Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes http://tfl.nu/04zg
  Replies (10) Good night (1159) Bad night (576)
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  (716): View more from New York

  We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.

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  (716): We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures. http://tfl.nu/5q46
  Replies (2) Good night (1045) Bad night (401)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game

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  (781): Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game http://tfl.nu/qq6a
  Replies (3) Good night (425) Bad night (905)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad

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  (979): my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad http://tfl.nu/r26e
  Replies (10) Good night (480) Bad night (1478)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.

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  (618): Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose. http://tfl.nu/98w1
  Replies (2) Good night (969) Bad night (350)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?

  (1+44): View more from

  Which pub are you in?

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  (+44): Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon? (1+44): Which pub are you in? http://tfl.nu/p4a0
  Replies (6) Good night (816) Bad night (304)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia

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  (708): Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia http://tfl.nu/57sg
  Replies (6) Good night (262) Bad night (886)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.

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  (515): I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter. http://tfl.nu/6fb4
  Replies (1) Good night (404) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.

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  (254): I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious. http://tfl.nu/40vt
  Replies (1) Good night (626) Bad night (191)

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