help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
