If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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