Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?

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(413): I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person? http://tfl.nu/zgr7

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(623): View more from Arizona

highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...

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(623): highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume... http://tfl.nu/i7v6

Replies (56) Good night (4506) Bad night (2150)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before

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(908): I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before http://tfl.nu/y7l7

Replies (15) Good night (4653) Bad night (573)
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(985): View more from Louisiana

I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it

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(985): I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it http://tfl.nu/iwz3

Replies (10) Good night (3408) Bad night (973)
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(804): View more from Virginia

Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?

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(804): Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos? http://tfl.nu/p64w

Replies (39) Good night (1845) Bad night (7096)
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(386): View more from Florida

Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.

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(386): Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target. http://tfl.nu/eg9l

Replies (5) Good night (4108) Bad night (830)
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(614): View more from Ohio

I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...

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(614): I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice... http://tfl.nu/gtdb

Replies (7) Good night (2861) Bad night (779)
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(863): View more from Florida

hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.

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(863): hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple. http://tfl.nu/ta85

Replies (11) Good night (1496) Bad night (779)
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(614): View more from Ohio

You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.

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(614): You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you. http://tfl.nu/0odh

Replies (8) Good night (2042) Bad night (635)
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(614): View more from Ohio

We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid

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(614): We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid http://tfl.nu/h9fh

Replies (12) Good night (1668) Bad night (651)
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(716): View more from New York

It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week

(210): View more from Texas

You are the most depressed sports fan I know

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(716): It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week (210): You are the most depressed sports fan I know http://tfl.nu/7tbn

Replies (3) Good night (331) Bad night (748)
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(801): View more from Utah

Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while

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(801): Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while http://tfl.nu/pxq7

Replies (2) Good night (219) Bad night (401)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"

(703): View more from Virginia

Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend

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(505): The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house" (703): Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend http://tfl.nu/7dd6

Replies (1) Good night (584) Bad night (262)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...

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(610): Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong... http://tfl.nu/0c42

Replies (0) Good night (548) Bad night (230)
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(574): View more from Indiana

I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.

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(574): I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it. http://tfl.nu/8dj0

Replies (7) Good night (924) Bad night (175)

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