my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i think i have two assholes
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize