All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
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You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
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I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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