my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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