best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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