He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
