Do you still have your period?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
