Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
