Sponge bath it is.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
