What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
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The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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