my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize