The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
