You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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