I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
