i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
