his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
NoShamevember. You game?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
