She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
