Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
