the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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