Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
