dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
