I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
