he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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