She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
