The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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