Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(325): View more from Texas

i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..

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(410): View more from Maryland

there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck

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(301): View more from Maryland

I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard

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(707): View more from California

He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.

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(386): View more from Florida

Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table

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(812): View more from Indiana

Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.

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(630): View more from Illinois

At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"

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(216): View more from Ohio

i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket

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