so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
